Remember how stress can stir the mind, like a storm that seems to unravel the world around us. In our relationships, we find a mirror to all our inner battles. When we enter the "fight or flight" mode, our mind shifts into a realm where true relaxation becomes a distant memory, and many of us remain trapped there, never fully escaping the anxious mind's grip.
Yet, if we can learn to observe the rhythms of our mind as it moves from calm to chaos and back again, we begin to visualize a profound transformation in our moment-to-moment reactions. We can focus on the cycles of breath that guide us back into a relaxed state of being. Through a lifetime of struggles, we've been consumed by our thoughts, but now we stand on the edge of something new. As we notice the mind shifting, cracks begin to appear in its facade, allowing light to seep through—revealing the truth that we are not the mind—we are not our thoughts. We are the Observer. We are Consciousness. We only live in the present—moment by moment. The past exists solely as our subjective memories, and the future is not unfolding in parallel. There is only now.
Though we react to our thoughts and feel their sensations deeply within our bodies, we are not defined by them. There's a powerful realization in becoming the observer: the observer can choose how to respond, letting thoughts rise and drift away without attachment. The observer helps the body to relax, to redirect, and to sync with every feeling that arises from simply being alive.
Now, we are engaged in a deep, meditative practice—a concentrated effort to refine our sense of self. This practice becomes the cornerstone of improvement in all our relationships, not just those with our lovers. The observer gently draws the mind back into the present, away from the anxieties of the future, teaching us to breathe through life's challenges rather than reacting with anger, conflict, or addiction. This may or may not be the truth about reality, but it holds a possibility. It is non-harming. It is a gentle perspective that fosters a relaxed state of mind. It is compassionate.