The mind is designed to think and help us solve problems that pertain to our survival, build on our knowledge, and add more depth to collective consciousness. We are sensing creatures, and we think about what we feel.
We experience negative emotions that don’t feel comfortable in our bodies and positive emotions that do. It makes sense that the vast majority of us, unless we have some type of psychological damage, are influenced by these emotions.
The human child is different from all other creatures in terms of what it needs for the first 7 to 20 years of life. Obviously, the first 5 to 7 years are the most formative for our development.
This type of information is different from merely listening to rhetoric or philosophy about the unknown. This type of study directly deals with thinking about what’s going on inside our emotional world so that we can find ways to relax and find better solutions to our life problems. This way of thinking leads to the end of mental suffering, addiction, and other things that make us unhappy.
Let’s first explore some of the early difficult fears that we experience as children. All negative feelings stir anxiety. Anxiety is synonymous with fear.
Primordial fears include:
- Physical pain in the body translates to emotional pain and difficulty. Triggers fear.
- Hunger is experienced as dryness in the throat, empty stomach. Triggers anxiety.
- Abandonment fears and sensations of separation anxiety.
- Boredom or lack of stimulation. Triggers anxiety. The need for comfort, touch, and love. The absence of which triggers anxiety.
As we get older and develop a sense of self, we experience things like a loss of self-esteem. Loss of self-esteem, obsession, and negative thoughts trigger primal fears of abandonment.
- Loneliness triggers anxiety.
- Boredom triggers primal instincts to get into action: to move and run from predators, find food, protect the tribe, etc.
- The need for exploration of the environment and the physical body. Stagnation triggers anxiety.
More complex feelings that start to develop as we get older include jealousy, competitiveness, defensiveness, and self-centeredness. Our brains develop, giving us a better sense of self and our environment. We don’t have many mental structures that are genetically passed on or instinctual to help us navigate difficult emotions. We need to learn by example and through lessons. Storytelling and childhood experiences help children begin to perceive the complex nature of mind and feelings.
The older we get and the more we understand ourselves, the more wisdom we gain about the world we live in. At the same time, we recognize that the meaning of life is much simpler than the accumulation of things and the fulfillment of every desire. For humans, life is a constant expansion of consciousness, evolving from being naïve and ignorant to learning valuable things.
It must be mentioned that negative feelings and trauma, such as being beaten, abandoned, humiliated, or molested as children, cause incredible damage to our physical existence. In contrast, when we are loved, respected, cared for, played with, and shown the right way, we develop healthy mental dynamics.
By dynamics, I mean structures that are fluid and able to change with changing events. Adults who do not have dynamic structures in their character development often get stuck with the changing scenes and the flow of one event to the next.
Psychology may call the transition from one moment to the next a normal part of living. The human mind creates or needs transitions to help phase from one experience to the next.
Terrifying experiences change abruptly from one moment of reality to the next. This is why there’s a great feeling of fright in a child, and they may become frozen in one moment in time. We may become phobic of change—the change from night to day, from being in the shower to getting dressed, to going out to work, facing family members. Even pleasant experiences require transitions from one to the next for us to organize and assimilate the data.
Learning how the different events of our lives have affected us as grown-ups is an expansion of consciousness and self-wisdom. It’s safe to say that the vast majority of people need to develop a better sense of what is happening in their minds as a result of their upbringing. This is the first stage of learning "who am I." When we understand our physical experiences and sensations, our philosophies, thought processes, character defects, and positive traits, we naturally move on to the next discovery of "who am I" in terms of thinking about internal consciousness. If we do not have the ability to relax, the mind will be too distracted to even begin to fathom deeper concepts of consciousness.
When individuals experience unmet needs and a persistent sense of anxiety, they may develop various emotional and character defenses as coping mechanisms to navigate their inner turmoil and external challenges. Some common emotional defenses and character defenses that can emerge in such situations include:
- Denial: Ignoring or refusing to acknowledge the existence of uncomfortable emotions or situations as a way to protect oneself from distress.
- Projection: Attributing one's own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or impulses to others to avoid facing them within oneself.
- Rationalization: Creating logical explanations or justifications for thoughts, feelings, or behaviors that might otherwise be considered irrational or unacceptable.
- Repression: Pushing distressing thoughts or feelings into the unconscious mind to avoid dealing with them consciously.
- Displacement: Redirecting emotions or impulses from their original source to a more acceptable or less threatening target.
- Sublimation: Channeling negative emotions or impulses into socially acceptable behaviors or activities, such as art, sports, or work.
- Compensation: Overemphasizing strengths or achievements in one area to make up for perceived deficiencies or failures in another.
- Avoidance: Evading situations, people, or responsibilities that trigger anxiety or distress in an attempt to maintain a sense of control and comfort.
- Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards for oneself as a way to cope with feelings of inadequacy or anxiety about not meeting expectations.
- Control: Seeking to exert control over oneself or one's environment as a means of managing uncertainty and anxiety.
- Lying: Engaging in deceitful behavior or falsehoods as a way to manipulate or control perceptions, avoid consequences, or protect oneself from uncomfortable truths. Lying can serve as a defense mechanism to maintain a facade of control or to escape from facing difficult emotions or situations.
- Addiction: Turning to substances, behaviors, or activities as a means of coping with emotional pain, stress, or inner conflicts. Addiction can provide temporary relief or distraction from underlying issues but often leads to destructive patterns that exacerbate the original problems.
- Obsessive Self-Destructive Behaviors: Indulging in repetitive, harmful actions or thoughts that undermine one's well-being or goals. These behaviors may serve as a way to express inner turmoil, gain a sense of control, or punish oneself due to feelings of worthlessness or inadequacy.
Defense mechanisms, such as lying, addiction, and obsessive self-destructive behaviors, can offer temporary relief or distraction from emotional pain or distress. However, they often perpetuate cycles of negative consequences and prevent individuals from addressing the root causes of their struggles. Seeking professional help, such as therapy or support groups, can provide individuals with the necessary tools to understand and overcome these harmful patterns, fostering healthier coping mechanisms and promoting personal growth and healing.
All defenses can serve as temporary coping mechanisms, but they may also hinder emotional growth and prevent individuals from addressing underlying issues effectively. It is important for individuals to seek support, such as therapy or counseling, to explore healthier ways of coping with unmet needs and anxiety and to work towards emotional healing and personal development.