Self-help attracts two kinds of people. The first kind can genuinely practice self-help and doesn't require intervention from others. The second type consists of those who struggle with self-help and need external support.
I make this distinction because not everyone can consistently engage in the exercises and disciplines necessary to maintain a healthy, balanced mind. For people dealing with addiction, mild anxiety, or extreme anxiety, there are additional hurdles just to reach a baseline of what could be considered 'normal.' This baseline allows us to respond to life's adversities with healthy reactions.
Some people don't suffer from severe addiction or anxiety but may feel purposeless, leading to mild depression. These individuals might never have developed good eating habits, exercise routines, or grounding practices that allow them to be present and expand their consciousness. If they have an open mind, they can be taught these practices relatively easily.
Today, everyone knows about meditation, and more people are adopting simple breathing exercises to relax. Beyond these, almost everyone I meet has routines and habits aimed at staying relaxed or regaining calm. Some relax by indulging in luxury, buying something nice, taking vacations, or even gambling in a casino. These activities aren't inherently bad unless they become addictive and lead to destructive patterns.
The real tragedy in life is not the suffering caused by anxiety; it's the failure to experience true joy, a deep sense of gratitude, and the ability to return to the present moment, where reality exists. The present is the only true reality. When we think ahead, our minds often drift into worry. Of course, sometimes we feel positive excitement about future events like vacations, but this can also cause us to miss out on the present, letting days slip by unnoticed. As a result, we compress time and memories into just a few pivotal moments, both good and bad. This is the nature of the mind.
A key aspect of self-help is developing more control over the mind. But who controls the mind? Isn't the mind, in a sense, controlling itself? This question has puzzled great philosophers throughout history. I see it as us operating from two possible selves. The first self is calm and relaxed, a state we might have developed if born into gentle circumstances with nurturing love. The second self is anxious, developed from early unmet needs or later life stresses. Whether we had a good start in life or faced challenges, society's dysfunction often adds to our anxiety. This critical, competitive, and materialistic mindset becomes ingrained, causing us to lose touch with our relaxed self.
This anxious mode of operation is linked to the nervous system. The parasympathetic nervous system promotes relaxation, while the sympathetic nervous system triggers fight or flight responses. Even though we're not literally fighting or fleeing, our body reacts with tension, worry, and negativity. Prolonged stress can lead to a significant drop in our emotional state, making it difficult to recover.
Our chemistry—how our body and mind interact—plays a crucial role in our emotions. It's a loop: what we think affects our body's chemistry, and how our body feels influences our thoughts. For instance, if you wake up with a cold, you're likely to feel irritable and shut down, demonstrating how physical discomfort impacts mood. Over time, if your chemistry is constantly anxious, it reinforces negative thinking, leading to chronic stress and a hyper-anxious state that keeps you far from your true potential.
Modern life, with its luxuries and artificial environments, has disconnected us from nature. We've domesticated ourselves, trading the challenges of survival in nature for safety and comfort. However, this disconnection from the natural world has cost us our connection to essential elements like fresh air and the grounding presence of nature. Instead of spending time in natural settings, breathing deeply, and absorbing the peace that nature offers, we often find ourselves in artificial environments that further disconnect us from our true selves.
To truly relax and reconnect with nature, it's essential to spend time in natural settings—not just as a form of escapism, but as a way to ground ourselves in the present. This connection to nature, along with a sense of kinship with all living beings, is vital for our well-being. We share a genetic connection with all creatures on this planet, and by recognizing this, we can rediscover the instincts and wisdom that are part of our evolutionary heritage, even if they aren't always at the forefront of our consciousness.