One of the interesting dynamics in modern relationships, where partners spend a significant amount of time together without opportunities for solitude or the freedom to be fully themselves, is that they begin to absorb each other into the content of their own minds. This unconscious absorption is a result of a distracted mind overwhelmed by general anxieties, including those related to the relationship, leading to internal conflict that inevitably manifests as conflict with the partner.
This differs from the psychological concept of projection, where individuals unconsciously attribute their own unwanted thoughts, feelings, or traits onto others to avoid confronting uncomfortable aspects of themselves, thereby reducing their own anxiety.
When we absorb our partner into our minds, they become actors on the stage of our internal world, and what we feel inside reflects back into the relationship. In this dynamic, both individuals spill their conflicted, stressed minds into the relationship, engaging in blame, stress, distancing, hatred, fear, and inducing more and more anxiety.
The cycle of conflict appears endless until each person individually finds tranquility and relaxation in their own mind. There is no other way to navigate this fundamental truth.
Instead of losing our composure and remaining in a stagnant or destructive state with our partner, this is the time to seek peace. The obstacle—conflict and the resulting anxiety—becomes the path through our most damaged aspects of self and mind. This is, of course, an ideal statement, as achieving peace through embracing difficulty and becoming self-aware is a long process. Start now. Breathe deeply.